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Theory on Sirens

Sirens are born good but a danger to all and herself once broken...
they need only to be broken by the one who mattered most(Tamer) to them...

once broken, the transition begins...
The closer a siren is to the original siren,
the more excruciating the transition from unassuming mortal girl to stone cold vivacious temptresses

Once the transition is complete, there will be no turning back;
nothing compares to what a Siren can do with just a wink or a smile

The transition is irreversible but the damage dealt can be contained;
if the one that mattered most accepts the love of the transitioned Siren,
her focus would instantly revert towards the one that mattered most;

Sirens only "want" one person in their lifetime; for in that want,
the Siren has already selected her Tamer( her supposed to be husband)

the destiny of the Siren and Tamer have always been sealed by Fate since the beginning of time

The reason why Sirens turn into the cold blooded seductive vixens of land, sky and seas is simple;
their Tamers didn't reciprocate their love~
This inevitably turns their love for their Tamer into a huge gaping hole in their heart..

"How many must hearts must I break till mine heals?
How many men must die till I get to live again?"

This will be the words that Sirens will live by till the end of their days
once they have been broken by the one that mattered most...

These beautiful alluring creatures were born to love;
yet it doesn't necessarily mean they would be loved in return...
They can lure all but one man to their untimely doom

Siren can tell if someone is her Tamer when none of her antics, tricks or casts and spells work on that person;
yet somehow she will be strangely drawn to that unassuming man...

The Tamer always approaches his Siren first; hence why the Tamer has a crucial part for the safety and sake of all...

Only the Tamer can control, stop and calm the Siren down...
Tamers are those unlikely beings no one would expect to be able to control a Siren

Each Tamer is different for each Siren
Tamers are mortals, except for the
Original Siren's Tamer...

The Original Siren's Tamer is not mortal to begin with;
His origin and affinity remains unknown throughout history...

Stay away

Since you said I try too hard, too much...

then I won't try anymore from no on.

I'll try to push my plan
I won't talk to you

I may not be able to
stop myself from thinking about you

But I will try...
I know when I'm not wanted

I can take hints

I'll try my best to not talk to you for as long as I could...

I doubt you'd reach out to me...

So maybe that would be our last words...

Maybe I might get over you this time around

For my sake, I hope so...

To a person that talks about almost anything under the sun,
I wonder how I would see the world...
now that I chose to keep all thoughts to myself.
Always letting people know what I feel
gives them power over me;
power that I never want anyone to have...
power I'm not sure everyone is responsible enough to keep...
I wonder,
how things will go from now on...
who knows?
This may be my last post~
then again, I'm open to correction.
I just don't want to get hurt again
Words have so much power that it's frightening
It can break or make a person
Yet everyone is careless with such powerful instruments
What's worst is that...
no matter how harsh those words are used against you
you just accept them and never let them go.
Like willingly hugging the murderer of your lover
when you should be condemning the bastard that massacred your reason to live.
I'm just sick and tired of having my trust getting broken
by those very people I thought I could trust.
I don't wanna put myself in heartbreak's mercy yet again.
I just wanna shut out all possible ache and hurt;
including love...
No, let me rephrase that.
I wanna shut out all possible ache and hurt; love, especially.
I thought I prepared myself enough for the pain that comes with love;
I thought I'd be strong enough;
yet again, I stand corrected.
While looking through my news feed,
I've encountered a line that hit me like a deer to be road killed.
"I wonder if you knew...
how many times I thought about you
how many nights I've stayed awake thinking about you
how many times I've sat there and cried about you...
I wonder if you knew how much I love you... </3"
I, for one, clearly know...
how many times and how many nights I've waited and wondered
in the shadows with solitude
agonizing about my possible importance or non existence in your life
days, nights, hours, seconds...
going over on it in my head...
thinking whether I have I chance with you.
I've made my move
and now I wait...
I'm not usually this outwardly dramatic but...
I can't help it;
Drama follows me around
like a lost kitten begging to be taken home and loved.
(and I'm never one to say no to any cat)
I don't wanna talk...
because I know no one would want to listen
to my many nonsensical whimsy
That's why I wish to find that someone
that would put up with all of my multi-faceted chaotic wheel of misfortune
also known as my personality, myself.
I just thought...
that someone might be you.
Actually, I'm hoping for it to be you.
So I won't have to keep getting hurt
just to find that SOMEONE.
I'm getting tired of this game called LIFE.
It doesn't play fair because it is the game itself;
practically, worst than wonderland or land of oz combined.
Because the only end is death.
The only reason I wanna talk again...
to talk about myself...
about the things that interest me...
about what I feel...
is if you want to talk to me;
more like, if you start talking to me.
I just wanna feel that I'm worth the effort of talking to.
Like I can make you feel that time passing by doesn't matter...
because you spent that time with me.
I just wanna feel like I'm worth a moment of your time;
that's all.
Then again, everyone around me...
they don't see I'm worth their time.
I always have to start the conversation...
I always have to make the effort.
For once, I just wanna know what it feels like to be wanted;
even for the littlest things...
I'm not asking you to lay your life on the line for me.
just your time, that's all I ask.
That's why I wanna do an experiment...
how long do I have to not to talk to you...
till you decided to talk to me??
Am I worth the effort?
Do you even worry about me?
Am I important to you?
But by the looks of things...
It seems that I don't even cross your mind
I feel like I'm just a girl you know.
I'm practically nothing to you.
And feeling like this hurts more than I thought I was capable of handling.
I feel like we're heading for a tragedy and strangely, you're my remedy.
I'm still shocked that I still live and breathe
despite the fact that I feel like I've been in hell and back
and yet I get no response of where I stand with you.
It makes me feel like forgiving you was just for your conscience;
you just didn't want someone to be angry at you.
You never really cared about me and how I feel.
So, I decided...
I'll just shut out and not say a word.
No matter how much I wanna talk to you
and just ask about your day..
No matter how much I miss our little debates,
I must stay firm.
Else, I'll remain feeling used and abused.

Recollection ( year's summary )

Alot can happen in a year...

The year before,
I was free. or at least I thought I was...

I was courted then bounded unceremoniously...
Who knew being in a relationship felt like forced labor?

The year before,
the naive and gullible self...
was betrayed and abused in the most unconventional way...

I miss my naivety,
for it showed that I believe in the promise of happiness

I miss my gullible nature
for it proved that everyone is trustworthy at the end of the day.

My past self holds eyes that shine with optimism
She saw good in all those around her
Not once did she doubt others and herself
She saw that every possibility holds good intentions.

Now, I wish for that girl to take my place.
Kill my present self and let the past take its place.

My current state has left me bare and vulnerable
Now, hope and dreams are for the weak and abused
Wants and desires are for the wealthy and greedy
Feelings are like a gold plated leaves
It may appear blissful but no one can see the deterioration of the person inside
until nothing but a shell will be left of me.

I now feel like everyone can be a traitor
No one holds good intentions towards their neighbor
There is no true freedom but death
No one is trustworthy enough to hold my heart

Resistance against a damned fate is futile
All hope is not lost when there was no hope to begin with;
thus nothing can be lost.

Only a handful of people in the world can I consider my true friends
Those are the people, no matter then distance, are worth protecting and fighting for.
These are the people worth continue living this damned existence for.
They are worth the time and effort, no matter how ridiculous the request maybe...

True love is for the brave and risk takers...
If you're not willing to risk it all, don't bother trying;
you're not ready for something like this...

It doesn't mean that if you gave your all and your best shot,
that you'll get what you want.
You can only hope that luck would be by you side.

Better befriend and make good acquaintances with pain and sorrow
For they would always welcome you with open arms at the end of everyday.

Not all your suitors are your true love
Not all gentlemen are actually gentle or men
They may be weened to be proper and respectful
but don't be fooled;
they may have the best intentions but sadly paired up with the worst executions.

Remember the words "sisters before misters";
appreciate and cherish those who had stood by you
through heart break and silly napkin runs.

Not all nice guys fall for you;
unfortunately for me, they're just nice and caring
they worry for you and say lots of nice things
but they still won't look at you as something more
this kinda makes you wanna take a chance on bad boys.

Grades are useless if you can't get the job done right and on, preferably, ahead of time.

Family is a group of people you're stuck with;
the key to surviving is to find someone inside who understands and supports you without question.

Positive feelings like happiness, joy, especially, love
These are precious and fleeting
Which kinda makes them an ass
Making us get tortured, used, and abused
just to experience that one moment of bliss??
I'm contentedly residing as Torment and Neglect's new roommate
at least, they'd still be there when I wake up in the morning
(Torment gets the paper while Neglect makes the breakfast)

So far, this comes to mind...
I'm rather excited and terrified to know what happens next...

So before anything happens,
I've decided to put my heart in a venom coated glass display
Filled with the toxic gas
and surrounded by electrically charged barb wires
and mutant chimeras in the toxic moat

Yes, they can try to look and touch, if they survive...

Mar. 21st, 2013

I both want to be happy but live alone

I both want to be rejected but be loved

I choose both ends of the same spectrum since I can't choose which weighs more...

I know the words and I can't bring myself to speak

I hum the song but I can't bare to sing

Each time I try to make a choice, I end up choosing none at all

Each second pass kills me inside

Yet each second I sense hope resides

I'm so confused but I see things so clear; that I have no idea what is feeling

Beating around the bushes only prolongs my ache

Tell me, should I stay and wait

And let my feelings begin rot and decay?

Or just tell me go on and move forth

So I can freely look up north

and wonder and ponder the possibility

that could have been you and me?

After winter's passed


How I love my freedom...

I knew that this feeling outweighed the price I had to pay

Heavy and dreadful as it may have been...

But I knew in my very core, this is where I belong


No ties

No arrangements

No one to hold me down

Cruel was my means

Yet it was the sure fire way towards my dear sweet freedom

And I regret nothing

My struggles in that contract were bittersweet memories

Lots of efforts wasted made it bitter

The lessons I got made it all too sweet

I knew I'm not meant to be caged

I am no one's pet

I have no master I serve to

For I relish on my methods of navigation through life

Those times felt like winter's finest hours

Beautiful to look and gaze upon

Yet treacherous and deviously misleading

Remembering it all, I know I had no regrets

I didn't have those moments of doubt

Because I lived in the moment

I thought that it as medicine

I just have to choke it up since it was "good for me"

Maybe I thought it was "good for me"...

Because I have zero first hand experience in that sort of predicament

I've just realize that I dove in for the experience;

not for the situation, or whatever perks it always boasts

Well, as well despite the nuclear ending...

I cried

I fought

I struggled


I had fun

I learned alot

I've changed (for the better, I hoped)

That experience made me feel like...

I've conquered winter

And now welcomed spring

With open arms and a strong heart

While getting pumped up for the arrival of summer

Honestly, I'm glad I've gone through it

And because of it,

I'm rather optimistic (not desperate) about my next encounter with winter

I just hope next winter will be more understanding (and less dramatic *fingers crossed*)

So thanks to winter,

We had our time,

Now I've moved on

I'm now more than ready for spring and summer to come along

Winter, thanks for the memories!!

Stake thru my heart

Pain; I thought I've conquered it all
Thought I know real pain
That I knew it so well
I could turn it inside out and flip it up or down
I thought I could still tell what it is because I know it all too well
Well, in fact, I was wrong

The wild thunderstorm contained in my chest makes it harder for me to breathe
The unrestrained beating in the middle is making everything way worse
To the point that the jury in my head are at a war neither had started
With all of this unravelling at the same time,
I find it miraculous that not a tear was shed as a form of relief
Though with what had happened,
The tears deemed themselves inadequate to represent this body's current predicament

Things would have been easily to process
Easier to assess & formulate a solution
If all not for the source
I never knew this type of pain would come from the one I hold dear

This is the reason why I've disciplined myself to never lean on others
Because one day, they are bound to leave you
I should have never let my heart lean
Never should have hoped for the impossible

Yet even the cautious will have to bow down to the inevitable
Even those who are careful will one day have to conquer their hurdle
Like many others, a part strongly wants to effortlessly leap the diminutive hurdle
Yet the other part sat in defeat at the foot of the obstacle
With continuous rambles about wasted efforts

As much as I'd like to avoid, to a great length I would
If allowed, I would have hidden under a rock
Safe, unnoticeable, plain & simple
Life there would not have been filled with infinite distress
With constant edginess, thinking of nightmarish what ifs & could have beens

Yet why?

Why do I choose to stay?
Why, despite all the pain & suffering?
Despite all the grief and sacrifice,
Why do I choose to stay?
Why must I make myself go thru loops of fire?
Swim in a sea of broken hearts, trying not to drown?
Why do I allow myself to go thru all that which I deem stupid beyond recovery?
As much as I would like to not admit it,
Looks like even I'm no exemption from love's tormenting whirlwinds of change


Let's see how far & go...

Going through new experiences without a manual is like a baby's first few seconds in life.
It doesn't know how to react other than by its instincts.
If it experiences pain, it learns not to do what had caused it pain.
If only life had a manual, living through it would be so much easier.

Indeed, if such manual has existed...
We would not know of pain
Heart ache
All of these, we could have avoided if such a thing existed...

Who am I kidding?
Even if such tangible thing existed,
Sure, it may warn us of those mentioned above
But it had not accounted the actual impact of the stated.
It can only warn; protect, maybe if we follow it.
All may theoretically be avoided if we follow it

But what has also not been taken to consideration is...
Curiosity will drive those with enough of it to those we so wish to avoid
It will and can drive us beyond our fears
To the very corners, the very edge of our sanity

But what is sanity, really...
I think it's something we see as a normal state of mind
But what is normal?
Who to say one is normal?
They may have the number but that does not give them the right.

I'd like to remind whoever'll read this that...
Nothing great ever comes out from mediocrity
Those who dared to dream go farther towards the unknown
Those who dared to take a step farther gain more than those who stayed in conformity

You see...
Only the great dared to dream
Dared to venture where all feared to thread upon
Dared to go against society to prove that something out there is worth fighting for

So you see, even if such a thing as that manual ever existed...
I, for one, would read it to know what it stands for
For what it fights for
As respect to itself & it's creator
But it does not mean that I'll simply shut up & follow
like a brainwashed slave society wants me to be
I'll just read for the sake of reading then go forth with my life
I'll dare myself to go farther beyond my known horizons & seek what I have yet to discover
I'll dare myself to go pass the borders of reality, making my own reality

Besides, what is life if you simply do & follow?
School, that's what!
And I'm sure as heck not everyone likes to stay at school
just to be conformed & be molded into the so called "perfect citizen"?
I went to school to study & learn whatever I think I should learn before venturing into the world,
not to be played up & be toyed with like molding clay into their liking.

As you can see, I jotted quite a lot right now.
First, talking about avoiding reality's harsh consequences
And ending with my reason to go to school!!
I'm quite amazed with how it's come up to be
I do wonder how far I can go with this...
Well, only time & life can tell
It takes an evil genius to unravel the twisted puzzle of the sociopath.
Let's just say I know things I'm well aware, these things not meant to be known.
I find these thoughts hauntingly beautiful to the point it, well, haunts me towards reality.
So I can say, only a sick mind can & has the right to console & confide with a fellow psycho.
What terrifies society, we demented individuals find unusual beauty that only we apprehend.
We simply see things a whole lot better; more like, we appreciate more things than most would.
We find solace in unconventional places.
We find safety in assumed danger.
We find comfort in undeniable pain.
We are simply individuals, being unique and living our lives the way we want.


Writer's Block: Tearjerkers

Hachiko, hands down
Which movie always makes you cry?